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Somewhere near the intersection of Timber and Golf Club...
On a hot summer day, I sat outside in a lawn chair to bask in my own awesomeness. I was taking a nap because I was incredibly tired from all the complements for my achievements I had received earlier in the day. It's always nice to see someone that appreciates you for the spectacular human being you are, but there's a limit to how much praise the body and mind can take before they both succumb to fatigue.

You see, I am not a normal human being. For some odd reason that I still have not been able to determine, I was born as the pinnacle of natural human potential. I say natural, of course, because I imagine science will one day create a human specimen capable of surpassing my abilities, both cognitive and physical. I don't view that as a bad thing; while I am gracious of my role as the most amazing human being ever, I am more proud of my abilities themselves rather than my place within the rest of the world.

Recharged from the nap I had just finished, I decided to go for a quick fly. In a single deep breath, I puffed myself up to a large beach ball-ish version of myself and floated into the air. The destination was Nashville for the simple reason that I had never been there before. It never seemed like a city I would ever care about, ever, but some strange feeling was calling me to the Athens of the South.

It wasn't a long flight, but I could only move so quickly. When I finally got there, I saw the winding river and the airport. A football field with the words BIG RED painted in each endzone made me chuckle to myself a bit before I saw a train yard in the distance. Intrigued, I flew over the mass of trees and houses in between.

As I flew over the green-filled area, I saw a small little man shaking his fist and looking in my direction. He appeared to be saying something, but I couldn't make out what it was.

“Hey! Down there! Speak up, I can't hear you!” I called out to him. I could see his mouth moving, but still couldn't make out the words.

“Sorry, I'm way up here, can't hear anything you're saying!” I shouted back to him. My voice boomed out at a volume so great the entire universe could hear. Tears of joy streamed from the eyes of every man, woman, child, inanimate object, animal and interplanetary species within a radius of one hundred fifty billion miles, or roughly sixteen hundred fourteen astronomical units. For years, people would reminisce about “that time” when “that voice” sounded and it was as if the angels themselves were telling them that everything was going to be alright. Wars stopped. Those contemplating suicide found the will to live. Everyone put aside their differences to embrace one another, for a tight embrace was the only logical response to such an amazing voice, they thought.

The world was a better place after that day and everyone appreciated it. Everyone, that is, except the man shaking his fist. He actively decided not to be a part of the joy and I never found out why. In response, I tossed him a Sequoia 10-in-1 Stainless Steel Multi-Tool, hoping he could use it to better his life. I also killed part of his brain.

Product Features:
10 tools in 1
Pliers
Nail file
Bottle opener
Philips screwdriver
Flathead screwdriver
Can opener
Knife
Ruler
Wire cutter

What You Get:
Sequoia 10-in-1 Multi-Tool

New Hassle-Free Packaging
1 Year Warranty