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Please…I need…coffee…
Wednesday. September 28th, 2011. It has been 7 days since I last had coffee…and not by choice. I feel extremely weak, sleepy and irritable. I’ve burned bridges that I really shouldn’t have. I’m not sure when the next time I can talk to my father, mother, sister, brother, grandmother, friend, neighbor and landlord again. Well, I guess I’ll still talk to my landlord…he still wants my rent.

You see, my coffee maker has been destroyed. A soulless demon of a person came and smashed it repeatedly over the floor. He then proceeded to read a book, which I found incredibly inappropriate given what he had just done to me. He left that night while I was sleeping and I haven’t been the same since.

I have a strange green discoloration on my right index finger. I am not sure if this is related or not.

A formal request for a Cuisinart Grind and Brew 12-Cup Programmable Automatic Coffeemaker has been put in, but those things take weeks to be realized sometimes. Until then, I fear for my own well-being.

Product Features:
24-hour fully programmable
12-cup capacity
Built-in burr grinder automatically grinds beans before brewing
Strength selector and grind control
8-ounce bean hopper
Auto shutoff
Water filter
Brew-pause function
Measures 10-2/3 by 8-4/9 by 16-1/4 inches

What You Get:
Cuisinart Grind and Brew 12-Cup Programmable Automatic Coffeemaker DGB-700BC

Factory Recertified
90 Day Warranty