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Just when they thought he was gone …
It didn’t matter that he was tired, disheveled and badly in need of a shower; they couldn’t actually see him anyway. The only thing that mattered was that he was back. Few were wise to the whole truth, but anyone paying even a marginal amount of attention immediately realized his homecoming.

The interim was only comparatively normal, but the transition to and from were easy to spot. Sure, there were pizza donuts and camping guidelines, but it was practical; it was funny. Take some similar concepts, put them in space or a dream, add tacos or pulled pork, color it with a film noir-like narration and BAM … before you know it, he’s back.

Innocent bystanders shrieked at the sound of a vortex opening about four stories high in the air above a busy intersection. A strange, less homeless-looking version of the man they had been hearing from for about a year shot through the black whirlwind at an alarming speed, leading the way with an extended arm and fist while clutching the Essential Home Dual Waffle Maker to his side with the other arm.

“Not him!” a few people screamed as he landed on the ground with a powerful thud.

“This is the Essential Home Dual Waffle Maker!” he yelled to one man, inches from his face. “It has a nonstick coating and cool-touch exterior!”

“Ahhhhh!” the man shouted back instinctively. “This is so much more about the actual product than I’m used to hearing from you!”

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Condition: New
Packaging: Retail
Warranty: 1 Year
Brand: Essential Home

Product Features:
•    Nonstick cooking surface
•    Easy cleanup
•    Cooks two waffles at once
•    Convenient cord storage
•    Folding, upright design
•    Indicator light makes usage a snap
•    8.9” x 9.1” x 3.6”

What You Get:
•    Essential Home Waffle Maker
•    Power Cord
•    User Manual