My diet was ruined AGAIN
For a long time, I subscribed to the “see-food” diet. For those of you who are not a professional nutritionist like myself, that very technical term means that when I would see food, I would eat it. Not only was it bad for my goal of losing weight, it put me in some tight spots. Chasing small children around to steal their ice cream was not one of my prouder moments, I must say. But after being labeled a public menace for the third time in 5 months, I knew I needed a different approach to weight loss.
I searched the entire world, on the internet, for the best ideas in dieting. I found this doctor on an internet forum called “FatNoMore1522” that suggested I limit myself to a certain amount of food instead of eating everything I saw. Now, I admit I was a little skeptical. I had no idea where he went to medical school, no idea of his credentials, and who puts numbers in their child's name? Couple that with the fact that the idea seemed like a scheme straight out of a cartoon and you've got red flags popping up all over the place. But still, I needed to change and a crazy idea could just be the crazy solution I was looking for.
Finding a new approach was difficult enough, but making it happen proved to be even tougher. How was I supposed to know how much food was too much? Dr. FatNoMore1522 mentioned a specific weight, but what do I look like, a human scale? I tried weighing food on the bathroom scale, but then all my meals tasted like feet. Everyone I brought over for meals was livid with me, except one person who really liked it. I decided not to see that person anymore …
Everything seemed hopeless. I was doomed to live a life where I either stole everyone's food or ate food that tasted like feet. I sent emails to Dr. FatNoMore1522 everyday asking him for advice. For the most part he ignored me (I figured he was busy saving lives; why else would he ignore me?), but one day I received a package from him. The package came with a note:
You really are this stupid, aren't you?
Take this and don't talk to me.
And stop calling me doctor.
-FatNoMore1522
I couldn't believe how humble he was. He didn't want to be called doctor and he didn't want to hear the praise I had for him. What a guy. But anyway, also in the package was the Digital Kitchen Scale. WOW! I couldn't believe it! A scale designed specifically for food! Immediately I started weighing every item of food in my house and my neighbor's house, all the while updating a spreadsheet documenting the weight of every item. With this tool, my diet was back on track and no one called me a public menace again.
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Condition: New
Packaging: Hassle-Free
Warranty: 1 Year
Brand: Cookinex
Model: SK-500
Product Features:
• Volume indicator
• Ounces, grams or pounds
• 5kg/11lbs capacity
• Fully digital LCD read-out display
• Auto-zero
• Tare function
• Auto-shut off to save battery life
• Easy to clean
• Requires 2 AA batteries (not included)
• Sleek design
What You Get:
• Digital Kitchen Scale
